Through everything, we never stopped being friends and I never stopped trusting you. If we’re going to keep being friends, you need to not take advantage of that…you need to make sure my trust in you is not misplaced. Understand?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m scared too. Actually, I’m petrified. I’m afraid for you and I’m afraid for me. What if you start treating me like that again? What if I can’t do anything to make things better for you? These past few months have been traumatic for BOTH of us!
When shit really hit the fan, I almost wanted to stop being your friend…I almost considered not trusting you anymore. Our relations had become so painful, and you definitely crossed boundaries that are not meant to be broken.
But then I realized how much pain you must have been in to resort to such drastic measures. Not only in pain, but also in pain alone. I reasoned that maybe you unintentionally crossed those boundaries only as a last resort. So I decided to keep trusting you, and to keep being your friend as best I could; to make sure your trust in me was not misplaced.
I just couldn’t let you be alone with that much pain, I just couldn’t do it.
So here we are. We opened ourselves to one another so intimately. Even if we did do it in a terrible fashion, we managed to stay friends all the way through! I’m grateful and impressed we were able to do that, with all the crap you’ve been going through.
It may not feel like it to you at the moment, but I think you’re starting to do a good job again. A really good job at being a good person. Even if we’ve recently only been mostly miserable when together, I still believe in you the way I did before. I sincerely hope that you feel the same way about me too.
If you do, then we’re officially in this together now buddy. You’re going to get through this. And I’m going to be here with you the entire time, okay? Even when I go to England, even when I go to the moon…when WE go to the moon?
Let me know! I miss you, the real you. Good things come to those who wait I hope. Stay fluid my friend,