Upon learning about queerplatonic relationships last week, I felt an immediate gratification of sorts. I strongly relate to the kind of love it describes. As I proffer my perspective, just remember that not everyone is going to share it.
A queerplatonic relationship is one that’s in the gray area between a friendship and a romance. Two people make an active commitment to one another, a commitment that lacks physical love making. But people can love without having sex. For some, that can be more rewarding. I think I am one of those people.
I love to love, and I need to be loved. But I have yet to learn what a romantic commitment actually means. Making love with a person I’ve made a commitment to? How can I make love to someone I’m not in love with yet…to a person I haven’t established a baseline with yet?
So I explore what a queerplatonic commitment means instead. To me, it’s committing myself to be as good of a friend to a person that I can be. It means loving without expectations.
By at the end of the day, I go to bed alone. I maintain the independence of my sense of self; I haven’t melded with this person to form a single entity like those whom are involved romantically do. That kind of melding may not be in the cards for us, and that’s okay.
I just want to make my friend feel loved from whatever distance, and what’s wrong with that? Although I hope for the best, I don’t know what kind of relationship this will [or won’t] turn into. But I don’t need to know. All I need to know is that I’m going to love this person simply because they’re letting me.
Who knows, maybe I’ll learn what a romantic commitment really means in the process as well.