Contact: Sexual versus Physical

Dear World,
Sexual contact? Physical contact? I’ve never heard these phrases before, have you? Is there some unwritten rule saying they can only be one in the same? I just realized something…that can ONLY be bullshit!

But sex is meant to express the true core of human sexuality, right? Human sexuality goes beyond our bodies. Therefore, sex must encapsulate more than a physicality.

So what in the fuck is sex? Well, what in the fuck is the core of human sexuality? I think all humans experience a drive toward intimate relations, a drive to build satisfying & constructive relationships.

As such, I think any interaction that better informs us of how we experience intimate relations is sexual contact. An interaction that helps us better understand our satisfying & constructive relations is sex. Sex is not some ball of fire biting at our heels. It is a part of us, just like our senses or skin.

Well that’s terrifying, but it transforms my life in magical ways. I’ve had so many relationships that weren’t physical, but were still fraught with sexual contact. It’s gotten to the point where becoming physical with a person I’m falling in love with is too much for me to handle.

The thing is, sexual contact does not need a conscious event or a positive outlook. Some of us prefer to engage with intimate relations on a subconscious level, or to shrink from them. A conscious physical desire is not an integral ingredient of sex, nor does it need to be.

I think that’s how I experience romance, for now anyway.

I do think sexuality is a universal, a part of all our lives. Some are repulsed by sex, yet we all still desire a drive toward satisfying & constructive relationships. So sex has to be about that too. Otherwise, sexuality could not be a universal.

My relationships feel like this at times, with me in the middle.
If all humans have a sexuality, we all experience sexual contact; there’s no two ways about it. The only way to rectify that with asexuality is to quit conflating sex with a physicality.

Another way to put it is to make the distinction between conscious versus subconscious sexual engagement. A repulsion of sexual contact can exist hand-in-hand with the organic experience of it. Whether you like it or not, I believe you WILL experience sexual contact in one form or another. One thing more, you will crave it…even if you despise that craving simultaneously.

Feel free to be repulsed by sex, but don’t you dare deny it’s firm presence within the human experience…within your experience. My romances have been driven by non-physical sexual contact; I need and crave it. So please, give me what is mine.

A Frolicker of Sexuality

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