I ran into a new sexual orientation this week called wikisexuality. As described by the associate professor L. Ayu Saraswati of University of Hawai‘i at Mānoa: “Wikisexuality is a sexuality that is nonessentialist, interactive, collaborative…Our sexuality can be edited by other people.”
Dictionary.reference.com defines “wiki” as the following: a website that allows anyone to add, delete, or revise content by using a web browser.
I cannot tell everyone how fascinated I am by this concept. I love thinking of my sexual identity as something that can be edited. That’s how I believe human identities grow and change over time.
It is quite obviously a concept that is fluid in nature, yet is more specific. By describing human sexuality as “dependent upon encounters”, the concept shifts focus directly onto people and interpersonal relationships. It exposes a fundamental of sexual fluidity I didn’t fully realize before.
Sexual fluidity is a broad category. It doesn’t specify anything really. A fluid identity simply indicates change as constant within a sense of self.
For example, homosexuality & heterosexuality could both be described as “monosexual”. Both gay & straight people generally focus their sexual energy on a single gender. Any gay or straight person could theoretically describe their orientation to others as “monosexual” and leave it at that.
Sexual fluidity has this same level of ambiguity. It permits some questions to remain unanswered. Not everyone is ready to answer the questions they have about their sexuality. In this case, this ambiguity could be neccessary for them to maintain sexual agency.
So wikisexuality falls under the fluid umbrella. A wikisexual may answer the same question differently depending on context. This allows the safe exploration of questions which appear to lack answers for any period of time. By framing sexual attraction as a question [whose answer is not innate], this perspective seems to allow a person to own their agency.
I identify with that personally. If I’m sexually attracted to a guy, I feel more gay. But if I’m attracted in a platonic way to that same guy, I might feel far less gay. Some women in my life make me feel more straight. Maybe I just think those women are really hot. What’s wrong with that?
Growing up identifying as gay, it’s taken me years to accept the times in my life I feel more straight.
So maybe I’m still teasing out the finer details of my sense of self, and I think that’s great. As a human being, I believe that I’ll never stop growing and changing until the day I die. To me, change as constant is the meaning of life. This is why I identify as sexually fluid. My sense of self is constantly shifting because I am constantly learning.
As I learn more about how I’m attracted to others and come to more substantial conclusions, my fluid nature will change. I’ll be able to be more specific, meaning the changes I experience will become less drastic over time. Perhaps I’m wikisexual, I don’t know.
But now I get to make that choice consciously. Now I understand that I can add nuance to my sexual orientation without necessarily changing the concept of sexual fluidity. This is what I’ve learned from wikisexuality. I love it!
A Frolicker of Sexual Fluidity