Sexuality versus Sex, & Class Society

Dear World,

What is sex? How does it relate to sexuality? Is it important to make this distinction? What difference has it made in my life?

Initiate the topic of sexuality to anyone, and no doubt sex will come up too. In our sex-craved & education-starved country, it’s difficult for people to consider sexuality without also considering sex. Yet, the opposite doesn’t seem to be true for many. When was the last time you heard a conversation about sexuality stem from a conversation about sex?

These days, everyone is quite keen on labeling sexual identities. But has anyone considered the advantages of NOT labeling them? Sure, I label my sexuality. But that doesn’t stop me from conceptualizing my sexuality without a label.

To me, this is the primary purpose of differentiating sex from sexuality. It is through our conception of sex that we create simple labels specifically for sociological purposes.

The idea of heterosexual, homosexual, and bisexual relations stems from sex identity, not sexuality. It is through sex identity that class society (like Capitalism) is structured.

Labeling sexual relations is not a necessary component of building satisfying & constructive relationships, regardless of their sexual status. In my opinion, this labeling is a part of the conceptualization of sex, not sexuality. So why does our conceptualization of sexuality focus so much on labels? This labeling was a necessary component of establishing class society.

Once private property was invented (after we stopped being nomadic), marriage and inheritance were invented. Marriage and inheritance allows the majority of this private property to eventually be controlled by a small elite group of people (the bourgeoisie, the top 1%).

How do these economic institutions accomplish this? Legitimate heirs inherit their fathers wealth from one generation to the next. Legitimate heirs, up until this past century, could only be produced directly through heterosexual relations.
Thus, sex identity is integral to the creation of class society. Sex identity is integral to the survival of Capitalism, a form of class society. It is within the interests of Capitalists to focus the conversation of sexuality on sex.
This is why your sexuality and sex identity are not the same thing. Your sex identity might be integral to the existence of class society, but your sexuality is not. You can possess a strong and stable sexuality without labeling it.

When I stop focusing on how I label my sexuality within interpersonal relationships, I spend more time focusing on the relationships instead. Of course, these relationships can benefit from being labeled in the long run. But what’s the hurry? I have fallen in love without even mentioning my sexual label to the target of my affection. It’s the meaning behind that label that’s important.
Sexuality Without Sex

Differentiating between sexuality and sex has helped me in my life tremendously. I think it allows me to better distinguish between sociological and psychological pressures. I don’t feel pressured into socializing my sexuality beyond the comfort level of my introverted identity anymore.

Instead, I feel that pressure has shifted from my sexuality to my sex identity. It’s as if I feel pressure to identify a certain way based solely on the fact I have a penis and scrotum. As if things in my life I want to control are instead determined by what’s between my legs.

I find it especially confusing because I love my body, my genitalia included. I absolutely love being male bodied, as I have been my entire life.

A Frolicker of Fluidity

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