What does it mean to be sexual? Does sexual behavior leave us prone to our beastly instincts? Do crude gestures prevent evolutionary progression? It sounds ridiculous to say, but isn’t that the point of labeling sexual interactions as “inappropriate”? I want to know what exactly we are accomplishing by painting the engagement of our sexualities with those of others as “inappropriate”. In short, what does it mean to be sexual?
I believe attraction drives the growth of interpersonal relationships. I view sexual attraction as one of the keys to unlocking meaningful relationships. We are a social species after all; it was through our intimate relationships that we evolved into what we are today. Doesn’t that mean sexual behavior contributes to our evolutionary progression?
I believe we are all born with a passion for intimacy. We understand ourselves through the people we choose to surround ourselves with. So if I feel deeply for someone who doesn’t want to be my friend right now, I might feel isolated as a result. In a sense, the relationships we value the most reflect who we believe we are. I think that means our sexual behavior is incredibly meaningful & valuable.
So could sexual behavior help us construct more interactive relationships? That’s what I believe. I also think relationships need both involuntary behavior and intentional action. This is something I dislike about the sexual binary. It encourages intentional action to be used exclusively for one sex of the other. In other words, relationships become starved for a deeper engagement.
When I feel sexually attracted toward an individual, my involuntary behavior and intentional action both “square in” on that person. I become fully engaged on a deep level. But I want to be fully engaged on a deep level with all my relationships, not just the romantic ones.
This leads me to think it’s a good thing to interact sexually with many people. A sexual attraction can be just as deep as it can be casual. The core to sexual behavior, I think, is engagement with other people. Labeling that as “inappropriate” is simply foolish. Otherwise, what are we to think of our sociological wants & needs?
I’m not saying we should pulverize the boundaries with every opportunity. But if it feels right all-around, what’s wrong with a test drive? I like to think intimacy is more important than labels. I’ll definitely go on a test drive if my partner is just as willing.
A Frolicker of Sexual Fluidity
P.S. Sorry for posting this late. I haven’t had access to the internet for the past week.