For most people I encounter, their perception of me as a “gay male” is perfectly sufficient. However, when it comes to people I am intimate with, this perception speaks nothing to my true sense of self. I believe love and the sexual binary are not easily integrated into one another.
For example, romantic relations are emotionally stressful. Under such stress, I often question whether or not I am good enough. Emotionally, I struggle with failure. As is my responsibility, I have learned how to reduce this obstacle. Regardless, others will still be exposed to it when we become intimate. But if another gay male cannot cope with this reality, a deep relationship would be impossible.
I also prefer to live in solitude. I generally am more content alone than I am surrounded by people. That’s far more important to my sexuality than my preference in genitalia. It determines what time is most meaningful to me, and how others can become a part of it. In other words, I almost exclusively develop romantic feelings with another person when we are alone (as opposed to when that person has male genitalia).
When I love someone, it becomes a part of how I understand myself; I need you because I love you. I see this as universal, a crucial portion to human sexuality. Once I truly begin to love someone, I never truly stop.
If love is blind, than so too is human sexuality. Stay fluid my friends,
A Frolicker of Sexual Fluidity