Do people change? Western civilization generally prefers to think that we cannot whereas eastern civilization generally likes to think we can. Personally, I think people CAN change, but only if we want to. But I’m asking you if our sexualities can change over time. Obviously, I think they do (i.e., I identify as sexually fluid.)
Life is dynamic; nothing remains the same from one moment to the next. The identity of a human being is just the same; we grow & change over time. It follows logically that sexuality cannot remain the same either.
On top of that, how can people “know” which gender they find attractive? In my mind, that implies a choice about half the human population. A choice about people that individual hasn’t even met. Judgmental much?
Part of the problem is society’s obsession with sex; how people do it and why. However, falling in love is not about how the genitalia of two people fit together. Falling in love is about developing an intimate relationship with another person. What does a person’s genitalia tell you about that?
When I consider the love I have to share, I think about how much chemistry I have within the different relationships in my life. I explore the relationships that have the most chemistry. More important than the person’s genitalia is whether or not we are attracted toward one another.
I readily admit the gender & sexual binaries are important in terms of our social structure. In large groups of people, it matters who’s “gay” versus who’s “straight”. However, I personally believe these identities are mostly immaterial within interpersonal relationships. In other words, people change to suit their needs.
In my mind, the sexual binary acts as an obstacle to the development of intimate relationships. I believe we all have a choice in whom we allow ourselves to develop intimate relationships with. I don’t think about the sex until I’m intimate enough with a person for it to be meaningful.
If your masturbatory orgasms are too boring to allow yourself to do that, then you’re masturbating wrong. Sex in an intimate relationship should not primarily be about “getting off”. It should be about engaging intimately with your potential lover.
Now I’m not saying romance will automatically create a sexual attraction toward an entire gender. Romance is about falling in love with an individual, not half the human population. Change does not happen overnight and it’s not always easy. What I am saying is that love can be worth changing for.
After all, isn’t it people that give life it’s meaning? Imagine explaining to your child (whether adopted or not) how you fell in love with a person you didn’t expect to find attractive whatsoever.As they say, life is always full of surprises.
A Frolicker of Sexual Fluidity