Why do humans want sex? Why do men want sex with women? Why do some people not want sex at all? Why do others only want sex while tied down? Why do some want sex in random parks while others won’t even consider using the kitchen table? What creates sexual attraction?
I believe it’s easy to see how society informs it’s members how to want sex and with whom. Sexual images dominate American advertisements, while procreation is said to be the ultimate answer to sexuality.
What if young boys want sex with women because of the ads they’re constantly exposed to? What if having sex simply meant enjoying the physical companionship an intimate relationship could offer, regardless of gender?
What I’m talking about is sexual liberation. The idea that sex doesn’t need to be concretely defined. Every encounter doesn’t need to serve any one particular purpose. I don’t need to explain my choice of sexual partners to anyone other than myself.
Why do we feel the need to stereotype sexual encounters to the point of limiting sexual expression? What purpose do sexual orientations serve? If I follow a strict sexual orientation, what benefits do I garner?
If I am in a room with 1000 other Americans, the sexual binary certainly could be used to separate us into different groups. When faced with large groups of people, stereotyping aids in our ability to understand and relate to more of those people. With American society numbering around 315 million people, this can be highly advantageous (especially in urban environments).
However, in smaller groups stereotyping is less useful. A single person’s thoughts and ideas carry far more meaning in a group of 10 people than a group of 1000. In a group of 10 people, the fact that I’m attracted to men carrying coffee in a foam cup (like Dunkin Donuts) can be meaningful. In a group of 1000, no one cares.
If you are a person who finds meaning in life while surrounded by thousands of people, I can understand the attraction you may feel to the sexual binary.
However, this is not my style. I find meaning in life while spending time with friends one at a time. When I am with someone I care deeply for, I do not need to know whether or not this person fits into the homosexual or heterosexual stereotype. I need to know if this person returns my feelings. If we are in love, I believe good sex will follow. It’s as simple as that.
All this drivel about sexual orientation is simply a distraction in my opinion. I know what I want. No sexual orientation, in and of itself, will inform you exactly what that is. You’ll just have to find out the old-fashioned way.
A Frolicker of Sexual Fluidity