What role does sexuality play in the human experience? How is it a part of our lives? When does it enter and/or leave our lives? Personally, I think our sexuality is tightly intertwined with our humanity. I’m not saying I think sexuality is an explicit part of all human experiences. I am saying that all interpersonal relationships have something to contribute to sexuality.
For example, when I meet anyone for the first time I think, “What could attract me to this person? What could motivate me to invest energy into this relationship?” Although not all attractions are about coitus, I still consider them to be related to my sexuality. I believe sexuality is mainly about attraction, not sex.
Sexuality, according to http://www.thefreedictionary.com
& dictionary.reference.com, is defined as “sexual character”. I would like to build on that definition with the following; the act of perceiving & interpreting attractions by an individual. For example, I could say I am attracted toward pens because I value the ability to communicate. Clearly the attraction is not about sex, yet it still could make a contribution toward what I find attractive in general.
How many different kinds of attraction are there? In my opinion, the lack of an answer to this question is what creates human sexuality in the first place. It also means how we proactively express our sexuality is just as important. The same sites define “sexual” as sexual matters, relating to/involving the characteristic of sex/sexuality. Personally, I prefer the following definition; communicating one’s sexuality for a specific purpose.
Sexuality is a dynamic part of our lives; as we grow and change, so too does our sexuality. Once we construct a basic understanding of our sexuality, then we can begin to be sexual. In other words, once we understand our attraction to others, then we can begin to proactively express that attraction. This is how I think sexuality is a part of our lives. As such, I view sexuality education as an entirely different subject from sex education.
Yet sexuality eventually overlaps with sex. When we engage our sexuality with that of another person’s sexuality, we are being intimately sexual. Sometimes, being intimately sexual leads to sex. As such, sexuality and sex overlap when we are being intimately sexual. I believe sex education is incomplete without sexuality education. Without sexuality education, we are not teaching our kids how to engage with those they feel closest to.
Here is what I think. Sexuality gives structure to our understanding of the attraction we experience in our relationships. We determine how close we feel to these people by being sexual with them. Sexuality enters our lives when we begin to consider the depth and content of our attraction toward others. From that point forward, I believe our relationships interact with our sexuality to some degree until the day we die.
Assuming my arguments are coherent, you now know why my identity as a sexually fluid person is so important to me.
A Frolicker of Sexual Fluidity
Disclaimer: the quoted definitions are not exact.