Pornography & Masturbation (part 1)

Dear World

When you masturbate, about how much of the time is it while watching porn? I didn’t start thinking about this more seriously until recently. 

 
Here’s the thing; sex education in America (my home) is in such a dismal state, I believe pornography fills a significant portion of that role. Now I’m not going to rattle on about how “terrible” this may or may not be. Even if it is, people still somehow manage to ignore the actual issue; the clear lack of sufficient sex education.. 
 
If there were sufficient forms of sex education, I think pornography would gradually become less important. Pornography happens whether you like it or not. Real sex education will only happen if we MAKE it happen. Until we do that, I’d like to understand if pornography and sexuality overlap.
 
The first thing I did to better understand this relationship was to watch pornography WITHOUT masturbating. Could this change my perception of pornography? Could this change in perception have an impact on my sexuality?
 
If porn acts as an educational tool, I think we should start treating it like one. What messages does it convey to the “students” (i.e. consumers)? What type of pedagogy is used by the “instructors” (i.e. pornography industry)? What level of knowledge do the instructors assume the students already know? What information is left out and/or altered without acknowledgement to the students?
 
These are real questions asking for real answers. I’m not sure I could answer them either. I do think, however, that pornography can build a fantasy world of sex inside our heads. Instead of sex being a part of our identity and our lives, it is sucked into this twisted world of porn. A world that is endlessly expanding “for our pleasure”.
 
What this means in real terms is that sex becomes separated from the real world. As more sexual energy is invested into this fantasy world, it becomes absent from the real world. Pornography is like the sexual version of World of Warcraft. It has the potential to eat away at your identity and your life. 

We are on a very small list of animals that have sex for pleasure; I believe it to be a part of the human experience. Masturbating only to pornography gives power to those who produce it. In other words, masturbation is a very real part of a person’s sexual identity.
 
With this mind, it was easier to see how pornography could cause my sexuality to become “stuck in the mud”. It was easier to see how it could do the same to anyone. Sexuality is not static, but pornography is. 
 
I can understand how this could be awkward to think about. But as long as one stays conscious of the impact it can have, pornography can still be a great tool. It can be used to explore sexual curiosities; it allows the student to view sex from an outside perspective. Such a perspective does not require a full understanding of how we feel. This is great because so many feel so conflicted about sex.
 
I like to think that pornography cannot fully replicate the reality of any sexual situation. Although it can introduce new sexual situations to the conscientious student, that introduction remains incomplete. Porn never allows direct interaction. 
 
More than anything, I believe pornography as sex education reveals how taboo it is to talk about sex & sexuality in a public atmosphere. Sex is a part of the human experience while porn is not. Society should focus on building real sex education, not declaring war on pornography. Sex will always be there whether we like it or not. As long as we treat it as if it shouldn’t be there, it’s going to be an issue.
 
Life is a like a painting you don’t get to finish until you die. You may never fully understand how you feel about a certain topic, like sex & sexuality. This is why it’s okay not to know what you may or may not like. Exploring sex is part of what it means to be human. So relax a little and let your mind explore. Experimentation doesn’t have to mean anything if you don’t want it to; you and you alone get to make that decision. 
 
A Frolicker of Sexual Fluidity

2 thoughts on “Pornography & Masturbation (part 1)

  1. I totally agree with you that people should focus less on starting a war against porn and more on providing accurate, comprehensive sex education! By doing this, we can only hope to offset the porn that ultimately will be watched regardless of accurate sex education being provided! I appreciate your commentary on this topic! I love talking about the effects of porn in our society!

    – Erica B.

    1. I believe the only reason pornography is so important in America is because there is no viable alternative in terms of real sex education. The more focused our society becomes on pornography, the more of a reference point it will be in our social structure. Declaring war on pornography can then be incredibly contradictory in nature, as it increases society’s focus on the subject. I think it creates a vicious cycle, where the lack of proper sex education is a constant. So let’s start talking about it. 1.)Who needs sex education? Is it limited to our children? Why or why not? 2.)When do we start & stop sex education? When do we consider individuals competent? Why? 3.)What should we teach? How do we create a system that adapts to society’s constantly changing wants & needs? 4.)Where should we teach it? What public forums would be most effective to use? Why or why not?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s